HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESS

We all experience stress in one way or another but some of us do not know how to deal with it. Stress causes: depression, loss of appetite, weight gain, weight loss, body pain, change in one’s personality, etc. There are different forms of stress: Physical stress, Emotional Stress, Psychological stress and a lot more. Most people experience physical stress in their every day life, as a result of working, studying, travelling and so on. Some people don’t know how to deal with stress and as a result, rarely, may lead to depression, major depression, and sadly, suicide. A student committed suicide because he couldn’t deal with the amount of stress he faced at school. In my view. I think the student experienced physical stress, emotional stress and psychological stress. The student was suicidal which means at some point he was depressed or dealt with some form of depression (Psychological stress).The student was definitely not happy(Emotional Stress) and he probably couldn’t deal with the amount of physical stress from school and maybe other things we don’t know about. How can we deal with stress in a healthy way? This is a mnemonic that I formed based on myself, research and some people I know.

                                                                         S: SLEEP(REST)                                                                                                                                      T: TALK ABOUT IT                                                                                                                                R: RECREATION(LEISURE)                                                                                                                 E: EXERCISE/EAT                                                                                                                                   S: STEADY                                                                                                                                                S: SEX

      NOTE!!! This may not help everyone dealing with stress or stress-related issues but I hope it does help most people. Discussing more on my mnemonic on Stress;

  1. SLEEP(REST): This is definitely the cure of stress for most people but also, some people don’t have the time to sleep because of work, studying and all. If you are stressed, try to make out time to sleep/rest from your busy schedule. The body needs to rest and stress is a signal the body gives most times when it doesn’t get enough rest. Sleep, goes a long way.
  2. TALK ABOUT IT: For most people, talking about their problems and difficulties help get over it. In this case, talking about stress with a friend, a sister, a group of friends, family, helps because you are taking a huge weight off your shoulder by letting others know how you feel. If talking about it, sleep, and the rest of the mnemonic doesn’t help, you might want to seek help from a doctor which I highly recommend especially for those going into depression or think they are depressed.
  3. RECREATION(LEISURE): “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” This has been confirmed to relieve a lot of people off stress. Going for a walk, watching some TV, playing games and doing things you like never hurts. Instead, it makes you happy and relaxed, making you feel better, hence, reducing stress.
  4. EXERCISE/EAT: Whenever I am stressed out and find myself thinking a lot, I pack my bag and off I go, to the gym. Working out helps me relieve stress. After I exercise, I eat and I feel refreshed, relaxed and content. Some people relieve their stress by eating and end up gaining weight while others don’t eat at all and lose weight. In my opinion, I will say do what makes you happy and content but do not starve yourself because it doesn’t help but instead, will make things worse. Eating gives you the strength to fight stress, yes fight.
  5. STEADY: Be steady, do not be frightened. Keep calm and trust that things will get better. Being positive and steady helps. For those that pray, like I do. It helps a lot when I do. Take a deep breath and smile. I know its hard and sometimes, it gets even harder and worse but with all these, try to be steady. At least, try to you’ll find that you will get better at being calm and that helps reduce stress.
  6. SEX: Sex is a great way to relieve stress. The advantage is the release of endorphins and other hormones that help improve mood and reduces anxiety. You had a long or a bad day at work. Your boss stressed you out and you are so mad. When you get back home, have sex and expect wonders afterwards. Sex also acts as a natural sedative. In a study I read about, researchers found daily intercourse for two weeks led to cell growth in the hippocampus, the part of the brain that keeps stress levels under control. Although this study was done on rats, I believe sex helps take away stress and a lot of people have testified to it.

               I HOPE THIS HELPS ANYONE HAVING A HARD TIME OR STRESSED OUT……

Advertisements

My Mom, My Strength

Some of us are going through alot but we digest it and suffer alone…..

Link to previous story of My Mom, My Strength, click meIMG_9392I knew something was wrong with my mom. My mom is my bestfriend, and I’ve grown to understand her and know when something is wrong. My mom never tells me when she’s sick. I always figure out myself.

Since, my dad died, my mom has never complained to anyone else. She always complained to my dad.  He was her hero, according to her. Little did she know that he knew he was going to die.  It’s my dad’s death anniversary and on this day every year, my mom tries her best to act like she’s fine. She pretends to be happy but ends up crying in her bathroom. She would cry and come out to the living room acting like everything was fine. She would then go to the kitchen to make lunch or dinner. I knew mom never wanted me to know that she was depressed and still mourning my dad. I knew she didnt want to look weak to me. I knew she wanted to act strong so that I wont feel like my dad wasnt here anymore. All these I knew but my mom didnt know.

It was exactly 5pm when I got back home from work and my mom was making dinner. She cooks for me all the time. She spends her time cooking but she barely eats anything. My mom has lost over 60 pounds since my dad died and she refused to see a doctor. “Today, I’m gonna go into the bathroom while she’s crying and console her” I said to myself. Its been five  years and I cant hold it in anymore. I hugged and kissed my mom as she cooked and walked to my room quickly almost running because I couldnt prevent the tears falling. I went to the bathroom and flushed my toilet continuously so that my mom wouldn’t hear me wail. For the past five years, my mom has acted strong because of me but I havent been able to do anything for her not even to take away her misery.

“Elise, dinner is ready” she screamed as she walked into her room. My mom was definitely going to her bathroom to cry. I guess we both must really love the bathroom. I summed up courage after some minutes and went into her room then her bathroom. When she heard my footsteps, she locked her bathroom door quickly. “Mom, open the door, I know you’re crying. Open the door before I use the spare keys.” My mom refused to open the door. I waited for more than thirty minutes. Then I had no other option, I had to use my spare keys. I opened the door and I couldnt believe my eyes. I didnt know it got to that. My mom was holding a knife and her whole dress was soaked in her tears. My mom must be a silent “crier” or maybe she became one after my dad’s death because while in her bedroom, I still couldnt hear the sound of her crying. For a minute, I was thinking about this and got confused. I didnt know tears ran down my cheeks as I was standing there like a statue.

After, I got back to my senses, I quickly took the knife from my mom. She didn’t struggle with me, she actually let me take the knife with ease. I put the knife away and I hugged my mom. I have never hugged my mom like that before. I placed her head on my shoulder and stroked her hair continuously with more tears dripping down my cheeks and I said to her slowly “Mummy, you are the strongest woman I know. You are the bravest human I know. You are my strength, my joy, my everything. I know it hasnt been easy on you. I knew you always cried on dad’s death anniversary but I didnt know how to console you. I’m sorry I havent always been there for you like dad. I miss him too. He is my hero too mom. I miss him alot too, stop crying mom. There is something I have been willing to tell you mom. I’m so sorry I hid it all these years. I didnt want you to hurt more…..Mom, actually….” Before I could complete what i was saying, my mom replied “I know.” “Your dad, my husband suffered all those time alone. He didnt tell me he was sick. He hid it from me….Why????Why???? I was a bad wife, I was the one always complaining to him. It was always about me, I never asked about him. I never asked how he felt or if he’s okay because I felt he was so strong and healthy. Its my fault…..I want to die too……I want to go meet him…..” My mom said as she continued crying. I got the shock of my life when my mom said this.

My dad begged me to keep it a secret. How did my mom figure out. All these thoughts ran through my head. I felt horrible and sad. I had to console my mom. I told her it wasnt her fault. I had to convince her that dad didn’t want her to mourn him before his death. He wanted to spend his last days with the love of his life living like he wasn’t sick, living happily and enjoying his last days on earth with her. My dad wrote a letter to my mom before he died and  told me to give it to her when she stops mourning him but my mom has been mourning my dad for 5 years now. Hence, I had no option but to give it to her. I excused her for some minutes while she read it and i went back to her.

I already knew the contents of the letter. Of course, I had to read it before, I’m pretty sure my dad knew I would read it before giving it to his wife. He explained why he didnt tell her he was sick and how much he loves her. He begged her to move on with her life and to be happy. He said her beautiful face and nagging voice would bring happiness to any man she decides to spend the rest of her life with.

My mom is 47, she is still young and is now married. She has never been this happy after reading that letter. I felt the difference after those past years filled with sorrow and sadness. And yeah, my mom rarely cooks these days because my step dad is a chef. He cooks better than she does and he has his own TV show. I am living the best days of my life watching my mom smile and laugh everyday. Also, I have a sister, a cute little 6-year-old and she looks and behaves just like me. Annoying and sweet…………

Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it #buksallthatmatters xoxo